The art of saying NO!

I sit here in the car dealership waiting for my car to be looked at. Whilst in the waiting area with other customers sipping my coffee a father enters with his son who looks to be approximately 3 or 4 years old. The young boy looks full, of energy, and is riding around on his scooter between the new cars that are on display. “You shouldn’t ride on the scooter in here” I hear the father say in what sounds to be a negotiation rather than an order. In the corner of my eye I can still see the boy weaving through the cars on the scooter whilst the dad is elsewhere.

Guess what happened next! Bang! As the boy runs straight into the side of a car, there are now tears, commotion, and a small gathering by the side of the car. If only the man had said a firm no and had meant it, there would not have been an accident, and the more informed, educated, and experienced adult maintains control.

Why the hell did you say yes?

NO! NO! NO!…………….How many times have you been in a situation where you have agreed to doing something by saying the word YES! without real and due consideration, and you decided to say yes because you felt that at the time it was the right thing to say and it kept everyone happy or just to keep the peace, even because you felt that you owed it to someone, total poppycock, why the hell did you say yes if you meant no, or in that moment you hadn’t had time to give enough consideration.

Saying no on the face of it appears can appear curt or unfriendly, and in some cases counterintuitive. But why should you feel that you are letting someone down or initiating a negative response if in your heart of hearts are not comfortable with agreeing to move forward with a particular action.

We drum it home to our young children, not to engage with strangers, say no to drugs, say no to a particular type of company, and wayward behaviours and practices, so we should not find it difficult to manage saying no to others in order to protect who we are or what we have.